How to really answer the dreaded ‘do you have children’ question.

I want to talk about that dreaded question. You know the one where someone casually asks you if you have children. Like it’s no big deal. Variations of this seemingly harmless question include the presumptuous “when are you going to have children?” or the ‘innocent’ but invasive “do you plan to have a second child?”. For most people, these questions are nothing more than a polite, albeit nosy, conversation starter. They’re a way to connect, to find some common ground. No harm intended right? Wrong. To a woman who desperately wants a child (or a second one), who has just learnt the heart-breaking results of yet another failed IVF round, who’s grieving the shattering loss of a baby, or who kno

Never never ever give up hope

I’ve got a bit of a gripe. When it comes to trying to have a baby, the message of “never give up” is everywhere. It’s standard advice. We constantly hear stories of couples who were rewarded with their dream baby because they never gave up. We are led to believe that this could happen for us too, as long as we never never ever give up. This message of not giving up is usually packaged up as “never give up hope”. Who wants to give up on hope? Hope is good, right? Don’t get me wrong – hope can be a beautiful thing. I love hope. And here is the but…I just don’t think that message of never give up hope, is about real hope. There needs to be another message. Hope doesn’t work for everyone when it

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